What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
