he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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