She said her name was "party"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
