He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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