How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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