I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize