My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
