i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
