The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize