My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
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we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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