I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
