So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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