Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Randomize