At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
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Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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