I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
