it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
