yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
