this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
