Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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