i permit you to call me
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
