"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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