covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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