I cannot find my penis.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am one with the molecules
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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