I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
