she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
