yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
