Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
