She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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