i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
