I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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