Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
