Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
