Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
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Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
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Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
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