party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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