Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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