There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
