its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
