Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just found puke in my bra..
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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