we made out on top of his cat.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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