1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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