shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
