I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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