there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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