Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Of course I have a pirate flag
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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