It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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