I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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