I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
