I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
