you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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