I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
