ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
