Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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