We're like a lot better than the average bears
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
