So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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