She said her name was "party"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize