His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
