What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize