Need sex. Gaining weight.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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