I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
